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Mr Slam Dunk

Bio Statement If you're Seeing somebody and a skateboard Movie, YOU KNOW HOW comes in the room that totally does Not Watch skateboard videos and they are like, "Oh, you're watching a skateboard video" However, they say it all shitty like there's something? You know what I am talking about? Well, fuck that. I've been watching skateboarding videos for as long as I can recall. And I think by doing 15, I have learned some lessons. What have I heard? As always, I am glad that you requested. #1 IF YOU GIVE a kid the Liquor that he can drink, with no doubt he will eventually throw up like mad. And when he is done throwing up he'll pass out so hard which you write as many things having to do with penises as you can think of all over his face and can take a permanent magic marker. #2 IF YOU FILM someone crushing their Then and testicles onto a metal railing you put it in slow motion and choose that footage, it becomes more painful to watch. And every man who has passed through the gates of puberty that watches it will totally be all like, "Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh!" For real. Each and every moment. They may also catch their crap to demonstrate just how serious they are about their sympathy. #3 IF YOU Chance to run across an underpaid Security guard who's either a) extremely obese( b) somewhat emotionally retarded, or c) a member of the older community, and you harass the living shit from these, they will totally give you a performance for your video camera that can elicit laughs from people who have never had to work a shitty job in their life. Fuck Celtics, correct? #4 in the Event That You Work out How to use a Super-8 Camera and you picture anything that I type in the next sentence, then you my friend will soon have embarked upon a totally unique artistic endeavor: Birds in flight; trains; birds not in flight; sunsets; sunrises; folks walking in a city; people artfully skating down a sidewalk or street; flatland tricks done quite casually; anything in the woods. Can I mention birds? #5 I FEEL LIKE this one totally wants a disclaimer. So here it is: I am completely that you are really one of the cities on the entire planet and Dear NYC, I have visited your fair, fair city. That having been said, I've heard that in case you produce a skateboard video that includes lots and lots and lots of footage of people just completely rolling through the streets of NYC, then a whole shit load of individuals who watch that movie are going to feel completely alienated. Most people have never been to NYC. That's just true. #6 IF YOU MAKE a video that does not have some skating in it but Does have tons of footage of you carrying pisses on the face of your dad, there. Since it's possible to wear eyeliner that is really pretty awesome. Oh, and you can also wear trench coats and top hats. That is completely eccentric. NO MATTER HOW GOOD you are at skating vert, If you film yourself skating avert ramp and stick it into a video surrounded by road skateboardingyour part will be skipped over when the video's played. That is just how it goes. However, these days is push on a button. It is not like back in the VHS days when people didn't wish to see your vert part so badly that they would sit through a few minutes of fast forwarding. That makes it a little better, does not it? #8 in the Event That You MAKE a movie that mostly Showcases young guys performing maneuvers down really, really large sets of stairs and scooting down really, really long handrailings, and you also show the repercussions of those maneuvers gone wrong, and you integrate dripping blood in your motion images and have really "heavy" songs to accompany your project, then you're likely going to earn a lot of money being entirely derivative. (PS : We already know people can do lipslides down enormous rails. We completely get it.) #9 MAKE Greater than 87-percent of those movies that year made. I didn't, although I understand you think I wrote that because I write for Thrasher. I just know that "Fucking gnarly" beats "Thousandth try" every day of the week. Nobody taught me that. I only know that. #10 if you spend your all I 'VE LEARNED THAT Time getting into them and watching videos and Memorizing every one the songs and all of the maneuvers of Actually getting your ass off of your sofa and getting your bum onto Your own living your life, then you might and skateboard End up being impressed by videos than with skateboarding itself. And as a person of the world Your buddies are just as important to skateboarding as any dude you see from a video. Except Neil Blender, however he's special.